Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?” Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.” Two factory workers talking: Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.” Man: “And how would you do that?” Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: “What are you doing?” Woman: “I’m a light bulb.” Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says: “Where are you going?” The man says: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.” A man talking to God: The man: “God, how long is a million years?” God: “To me, it’s about a minute.” The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?” God: “To me it’s a penny.” The man: “God, may I have a penny?” God: “Wait a minute.” A little g...

A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was taking pee and this bullet came out." replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay," says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."

Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, "I killed a person" Student: The Future tense is "You will go to a jail" Teacher: Did u make this poem yourself?? Student: Yes Sir ! Teacher: Nice to meet you, William Shakespeare Teacher: Which one is more important for us, Son or Moon? Student: Ofcourse Moon Teacher: Why?? Students: The moon gives us light in night when we need it BUT the sun gives us light in day when we don't need it.. Teacher : What will you do after growing up? Student : Facebooking Teacher : No! I mean what will you Become? Student : Admin of Facebook pages Teacher : O My God! I Mean what will you Achieve when you grow up? Student : Facebook Admin Rights Teacher : Idiot! I Mean what will you do for you Parents ? Student : I create a page for them on FacebooK."I Luv Mom and Dad". Teacher : Stupid! What do you parents want from U? :@ Student : My Facebook password. Teacher : Oh God!